Finally, after years, drifting about, buffeted on waves of professional disappointment, the the Secretarial Support Ship of Fools safely moored in delightful Narragonia and we founded the University of Admin. Thank goodness for 15th Century German Humanist satire!
Let us describe the scene outside our office window: huge phallic teapots, designed by Grayson Perry line the sweeping drive up to the Vice-Chancellor’s mansion. We have fountains of urinating nymphs, glasshouses filled with exotic orchids, arachnids and a fine crop of cannabis sativa.
Marketing’s brand new branding hub, The Thought Pod, is just to our left. This enormous silver dome, winner of many architectural awards for student fee spending, is unfortunately still not finished. The roof leaks and there is a problem with the sewerage. That happened after a particularly long workshop to discuss a new font and the smell was horrendous.
Talking of which, in the distance, where there was once fragrant flower beds, now there is manure. The University’s Office of Brexit Preparation Excellence has commandeered the plots for carrot cultivation. These will eventually provide the soup, face creams and puddings to feed and maintain us vintage dollies in 2019 and beyond.
Beyond that, we can just about see the Fortnum and Mason hamper warehouse for the VC and his most senior team. Reminiscent of a Romanesque folly, this gorgeous new building, resplendent in its own grounds, sits on a lake with flamingos. The pale, mint green stucco and gilded windows, perfectly capturing the building’s purpose: pure excess.
It really is a fool’s paradise.