If it wasn’t for completing the University of Admin’s intensive ‘Office Essentials’ Poodlepods Poodlepack, I would have jammed both hands into my confidential waste shredder a long time ago. I fully support the creative re-branding of my dead-end job and I look forward to completing my online eLearning as I sip my gin” – Anonymous part-time vintage clerical dolly, Anonymous Section, HR Fanny Equality Unit
Welcome your Poodlepods secretarial art courses based at the University of Admin. We are here to provide resilience deliverance training straight to your desk and keep you thoroughly entertained because we are old and have all just given up, basically.
WARNING! THESE ANSWERS ARE PREPOSTEROUS!
What are Poodlepods?
Pointless Office-Orientated Dynamic Learning Environment podules – complimentary to all BLIPs (Bipedal Learning Integrated Platforms) to provide delicious chunks of disobedience during office hours and beyond.
What do you hope to achieve with your art project?
Oh we don’t know. It would be nice to use our gin-soaked bodies and crippled frames to solve the gender pay gap by bringing some art school to the office. We’ve scribbled our manifesto on the back of a sticky note.
Why the University of Admin?
Higher education admin provides the most hardcore administrative workspace and the most extreme, compulsory contact with Humanoid Resources in all of Admin Dolly Land. British university admin support in particular, manages to juggle the up-skilling of non-binary urinary tracts whilst fully supporting non-collaborative working. As such, we reward all PA’s and administrative assistant dollies with the most intensive Poodlepods in a supportive empathy habitat – YouTube.
And in English?
The higher you rise, the more bottoms you wipe, the bigger the pay gap.
I’m PA to a monosyllabic, award-winning goat breeder – can I join the Poodlepods office party?
Of course! Other Action Men and Ballerina Sindy dolls are more than welcome to come down from the loft to join the RSI party. Must be aged over 48 with a bad back and a growing thirst for anarchic counterculture at one’s desk.
Who are vintage admin dollies?
What is that on your desk?
My Palitoy Pippa doll, circa 1977. She is my pocket-size admin fashion dolly and she comes with me to work.
For the eye-contact. Follow her story on Instagram with the rest of the admin team.
Can I gain a qualification?
Yes. At the end of each course, Members can gain an impressive certificate of completion to print, photocopy a great many times and hang somewhere special.
DISCLAIMER: no senior PA or vintage Palitoy Pippa doll was harmed in the making of our re-branded learning materials and rest-assured, our University of Admin excellence is an imaginary, succulent jelly of British Higher Education and public sector office support in general. It is no way indicative of any one institution, Humanoid Resource or validated learning asset. It is a celebration of many years benefiting from an obscured curiosity journey leading to absolutely nowhere which will be very familiar to career dolls of a certain age.
Dolly Poodle, Senior Tutor and the Vice-Chancellor’s Fool, University of Admin
Let us begin!
All design and text by Poodlepods using original material and historical images from the Internet Book Archive project on Flickr with grateful thanks.