Poodlepack 1: Office Essentials

Introducing our ‘Basics’ range of admin podules, to get all of us vintage admin dollies’ progressing at speed on our life-long learning journey. Best enjoyed with headphones and a morning vodka to take the edge off before opening your inbox – Poodlepods recommends this out-of-office:

It is Monday morning and I am watching my Poodlepods. I will respond when I am sober. Thank you.

1.0 Induction Course – you might want to skip this:

1.1 Learning at Work! – So much to learn and so little time before those bad back drugs really kick-in..better keep up-to-speed!

1.2 Guide to Acceptable Work-Wear! – Dahling, you look lovely. Where did you get that sack? Forget the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Poodlepods is proud to offer all admin assistants the latest fashion advice.

1.3 Equal Pay Podule! – We are proud to have been awarded Investors in Fannies yet again this year. This classic Poodlepods course will explain how being an old secretary around senior academics in particular, is just a beautiful learning journey. [WARNING: THIS PODULE HAS BEEN REMOVED AS MAY CAUSE OFFENCE]

1.4 Changing your Password – Emergency!  You just needed to send off a dull email before heading off to the filing room to sip the Christmas sherry and then IT pull the plug. Remember those pesky reminders you kept ignoring? Help is at hand..

1.5 Guide to Acceptable Footwear! – Our favourite Ladybird book was the Elves and the Shoemaker, so it makes perfect sense for us to proudly present an exquisite Poodlepods guide to office feet furniture…pair of stilts anyone?  [WARNING!! THIS PODULE HAS BEEN REMOVED AS MY CAUSE OFFENCE]

1.6 How to Read your Boss’s Handwriting! – We’ve actually walked out of temp jobs because of this as there is nothing more frustrating.  Well our pay packets maybe. But moving on..

1.7 How to Survive a Nuclear War! – Okay, we only have four minutes. Good job this useful little Poodleods disobedience training video only lasts 2:40. Plenty of time to finish typing up those minutes. Wrap up warm for the nuclear winter everybody!

1.8 How to Progress in Admin/Secretarial Support! – Well we’ve been told we don’t try hard enough. But, if you really, really want to progress in your admin career, this glorious Poodlepods training video will show you how to cut a few corners..

1.9 Avoiding Greetings Card Disasters! If you know your Moon Pig from your Clintons; your art card from your postcard, this Poodlepods essential guide to massive administrative cock-ups is for you..

1.10 How to Work with Robots!Well we did warn you. If you get yourself in a nasty situation with a cross fembot in a health and safety inspection, you need to watch this video and keep your head..

Would you like to see more? Well, you will have to sit nicely..

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